8 Things Not to Include in Your College Application Essay - Examples Inside

Your college application essay plays an important role in the admissions process, providing an opportunity to showcase who you are beyond your grades and test scores. As of the Crimson 2024 report, many top-tier institutes are reporting acceptance rates below 10%, highlighting the increasing selectivity in college admissions. For example, Harvard has an acceptance rate of 3.6%, Yale stands at 3.7%, and Columbia follows at 3.8%.

In such a competitive landscape, applicants must write exceptional essays that present unique personal narratives to stand out. However, understanding what not to include in your essay is just as important as knowing what to highlight. Oversharing personal struggles, using clichés, or adopting the wrong tone can weaken your message and leave the wrong impression.

In this article, we’ll explore 8 things you should never include in your college application essay, with examples to help you avoid common pitfalls and write an authentic, compelling essay that leaves a lasting impression.

What Not to Write About in a College Essay?

According to research.com, only around 24% of students apply to one college. With so many applicants, your college application essay is your opportunity to shine and tell admissions officers what makes you unique. However, some topics and writing choices can hurt your chances rather than help.

However, with limited space and such high stakes, it's important to approach your essay with care. Many students struggle to decide what to include—and, just as importantly, what to avoid. Making the wrong choices can significantly hurt your chances of standing out in a competitive field. If you find yourself unsure about how to write an essay that reflects your individuality and strengths, you can get help from legit admission essay writing services. They can help you make your paper authentic, compelling, and well-structured, ultimately increasing your chances of securing admission.

To get started, here are eight specific things you should avoid in your college application essay, along with explanations of why these pitfalls can diminish the impact of your story.

1. Overly Personal or Graphic Details:

Writing about a tough topic is okay, but avoid graphic or overly intimate details. Remember, your essay is being read by professionals who want to understand you, not be shocked or made uncomfortable.

Example to Avoid: "I battled severe illness and spent weeks vomiting every day. The pain was unbearable, and I thought I’d never recover."

Why Avoid It: While this is honest, it’s too graphic. Instead, focus on how you overcame the challenge and what it taught you.

Improved Version: "During a long recovery from illness, I learned to value patience and persistence. I developed new coping strategies that helped me return to my goals stronger than before."

2. Illegal or Questionable Behavior

Even if you learned from a mistake, discussing illegal or unethical actions can make admissions officers question your judgment. Avoid topics like underage drinking, cheating, or breaking laws.

Example to Avoid: "I got caught sneaking out at night to meet friends, and it was the wake-up call I needed to focus on school."

Why Avoid It: While it shows change, the focus on breaking the rules can overshadow your positive transformation.

Improved Version: "I realised I wasn’t prioritising what truly mattered. By refocusing my time and energy, I improved my grades and took on leadership roles that shaped who I am today."

3. A "Savior" Complex

Writing about volunteer work or charity can be powerful, but avoid sounding like you "saved" others. Colleges value humility, so make sure your essay reflects what you learned, not just what you did.

Example to Avoid: "When I taught English abroad, I changed the lives of dozens of kids who had never seen a book before."

Why Avoid It: This can sound arrogant or disconnected. It’s better to focus on your own growth and insights.

Improved Version: "While teaching English abroad, I realised how much I took education for granted. The experience inspired me to advocate for educational access for all children."

4. Cliché Topics

Topics like sports victories, moving schools, or overcoming minor obstacles can feel overdone. Admissions officers read thousands of essays, so make sure your topic is unique or offers a fresh perspective.

Example to Avoid: "Winning the championship taught me the importance of teamwork and perseverance."

Why Avoid It: This story is common and doesn’t reveal much about your personality.

Improved Version: "Losing the championship taught me more than winning ever could. I learned how to handle failure, support my teammates, and bounce back stronger for the next challenge."

5. Controversial or Polarizing Topics

Avoid divisive topics like politics, religion, or extreme opinions unless they directly relate to your identity or experience. You don’t want to alienate your reader.

Example to Avoid: "I believe anyone who disagrees with my views on immigration is completely wrong."

Why Avoid It: Strong opinions can come across as narrow-minded or combative.

Improved Version: "My experience as an immigrant has shaped my understanding of identity and resilience. It’s made me passionate about supporting others facing similar challenges."

6. Writing About Someone Else

Your college application essay should focus on you, not someone else’s accomplishments or struggles. It’s fine to mention others, but keep the focus on how they impacted you.

Example to Avoid: "My father’s success as a doctor has always inspired me to work hard."

Why Avoid It: This essay tells us more about your father than about you.

Improved Version: "Watching my father’s dedication to his work taught me the value of persistence. I apply that same determination to my studies and personal goals."

7. Excessive Bragging

It’s important to highlight your achievements but avoid sounding arrogant. Colleges appreciate confidence, but they also value humility.

Example to Avoid: "I’m the smartest student in my class and the best leader our school has ever had."

Why Avoid It: This comes across as boastful. Let your actions speak for themselves.

Improved Version: "I worked hard to become valedictorian while balancing my role as student council president. These experiences taught me time management and leadership skills."

8. Negativity or Blaming Others

Avoid essays that focus on complaints, negativity, or blaming others for your struggles. Colleges want to see how you overcome challenges, not how you dwell on them.

Example to Avoid: "My teachers didn’t support me, so I had to figure everything out on my own."

Why Avoid It: This comes across as bitter and unproductive.

Improved Version: "Facing academic challenges taught me to become resourceful and independent. I sought help outside the classroom and developed problem-solving skills that will help me in college."

Can You Swear in a College Essay?

It’s generally a bad idea. Swearing might feel natural when writing in your voice, but it can come across as unprofessional or inappropriate for a formal application. You want to show maturity and respect.

There are better ways to convey strong emotions or emphasise a point.

● Example to Avoid: "I worked my butt off in high school, and I’m proud of how much I accomplished. Honestly, I’m not here to waste anyone’s time.” This tone feels too casual and could rub admissions officers the wrong way.

● Improved Version: "I dedicated countless hours to my studies and extracurriculars, and I take pride in the work I’ve done. I’m ready to bring the same commitment to your university." This version keeps the energy but maintains a professional and respectful tone.

Can You Write About Death in a College Essay?

Yes, you can write about death in your college essay application, but it should be handled thoughtfully. Writing about loss can show your ability to overcome challenges, reflect deeply, and grow as a person. Admissions officers look for essays that reveal your character, resilience, and perspective on life.

Instead of focusing solely on the sadness of the experience, highlight how it shaped you. For example, how did the death of a loved one change your outlook, inspire personal growth, or motivate you to act? Sharing what you learned or how you moved forward makes the essay more impactful.

Be careful not to dwell too much on the event itself. Colleges want to learn about you, not just the loss. Keep the tone reflective, focusing on your emotions, actions, and insights. By showing growth and maturity, writing about death can help your essay stand out as both personal and meaningful.

Final Thoughts

Your college essay is a powerful opportunity to showcase your voice, personality, and what makes you unique. By avoiding common pitfalls, you can ensure your essay remains focused, professional, and authentic. Choose a topic that highlights your growth, perspective, and character, and always keep the focus on yourself. Avoid clichés, inappropriate content, and risky humour, as these can detract from the impact of your story.

If you want your essay to truly represent you, seek assistance from trustworthy admission essay writing companies in the UK. These platforms can help refine your essay, ensuring it captures your strengths and stands out to the admissions committee. Also, by following the tips provided and maintaining a clear, authentic narrative, you'll greatly improve your chances of making a lasting impression. We wish you the best of luck on your journey to college!